[ he doesn't have to elaborate, dante can hear the rest of the sentence loud and clear before the kid tries to brush it off. don't fucking lie to me. it's there, clear as day, and dante has to laugh at it. for all that he hides, that he pushes aside, avoid with a shitty joke and a smile that sometimes doesn't quite reach his eyes, nero can read him like a fucking book. he supposes that is what comes with living a good and long life surrounded by family gets you, huh?
one day he'll apologize, find some way to make it up to him. ]
i won't i just need to see him is all need to confirm it's actually him and not some shit i've made up in my head it's pathetic i know feel free to rib me all you want
i'm at his shop can't believe the fucker owns an antique shop i'll message you after
please as if i would im still not sure im not being pranked by bullshit tbh wouldnt be out of line for zodiac
dante vergils a fucking book nerd why is this even surprising tbh but sure lmk
["Be careful," he wants to say– but there's no reason to even say it. He doesn't know why he even wants to. So Nox doesn't, just lets the lump that's been in his throat sit there as he places both hands against his temples and wills himself to not fucking scream in all the emotions he's currently swimming in.
One fucking day he's going to talk to these two like a normal person. One day. Just... not now.]
[Nox finally lets out all the tension in his shoulders when he gets that text, easing the bridge of his nose so he doesn't have a sudden headache happen.]
aight if thats how it is then thats how it is np really my place is still open if you need it tho gonna drop by one last time or are you good there? also if hes anything BUT what we know as vergil im p sure youll fix that right last thing i need is to die of embarrassment bc hes a fucking boomer who doesnt know shit at all
no shit i wouldve thought hed have kicked your ass out not that itd stop you from going back but you get what i mean
[If you want me to come by Nero, you only gotta ask.
If this were anyone else, it'd be an easy task. If it were anyone else, this would be stupid to even think about for more than a second. But Dante and Vergil are his old family, and for better or worse, they bring out some of the worst habits Nox had as Nero. Namely, the family's horrific skills at communication.
Aka "can't spit it out" disease.
Nox debates on what to say. He's glad his uncle convinced Vergil without too much (?) effort, but another part of him already feels... frustrated? Hurt? That his uncle is leaving. Which is absolutely stupid, he's just moving to another section of the city, it's not as if Dante is actually leaving-
Nox knows this is a childish response, knows it's dumb and idiotic and his feelings are immensely going between extreme to nonchalant, due to the current city events. Still. Still...
In the end, he manages more than just a simple "nah, I'm good." Who knew using words might actually be important?]
yeah i hear you might as well hop your ass over here rq then still have a thing or two to show you between the mess in the city rn
[ a few is, ultimately, more than a few minutes more like twenty, regardless he shows up after the twenty-ish minutes to nero's door rapping his knuckles against it once, twice, then a third time. he knew he had to come back, of course, knew he couldn't just leave it at a 'thanks for the couch later kid' because it's nero and dante is keenly aware of those little voices in the back of his head hissing away. he had been an orphan once upon a time as well, a kid without family or friends, a kid who had been abandoned by his mother, his brother, his father. after recently getting dante back to have him leave suddenly? well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the kid might be feeling.
dante would be feeling the same if their positions were reversed. ]
Nox knows Dante wouldn't go back on his word, couldn't, didn't do that, not for this, he had no reason to– the one very small but loud voice in his head telling him That's it, he's said his piece, now he's gone. Did you really think he'd want to stay, now that he's found Vergil? He hates it, feeling his demon grow restless and pace, agitation starting to sink under his skin. It feels like an eternity as he struggles to not actually act exactly like his demon is, trying to stay still and finally just plastering a magazine on his face.
This is the worst.
So when he hears the door, he practically jumps for it. The knocks don't go unanswered, Nox hopping up off one of the chairs in the living room to turn the knob after the third one. Opening the door reveals his uncle, and for a very brief, very small moment, relief shows in Nox's eyes. Like he's not twenty-seven, but suddenly six, back as Nero, in the orphanage, hoping and praying for his real family to come save him one day. Then, it's gone, and Nox grins, jerking his head towards the inside.]
C'mon. [Not that Dante needs an invite into his condo, but still.
Not much has changed since his uncle last spent the night, but at least his nephew has more of an idea of what to bring to his attention. It's been a rough two weeks already.]
So, think fast. [At that, he's tossing what looks like a book straight at Dante, not waiting to see if he's ready for it or not. And while it's not anything magical, that book will probably look familiar, especially with the 'V' on the cover itself.] Had this for a while, before you came. I've kept it safe, like he asked me to.
[Vergil handing him the book as he left, telling him to hold onto it until he returns. The memory is a solid one, but it's one Nox fiercely clings to even in this life, even if Vergil, now, has no realization of who he is at all.]
[ it's quick, a blink and you'll miss it sort of look, but dante sees it. of course, he sees it. he's always been an observant one, even when it looks like he isn't paying attention to anything at all, even more so when it comes to the people he cares about ─ especially nero. it reminds him of himself, of wishing and waiting for his mother to open the doors, for vergil to walk in, for his father to come and save him for months and months and months after the fire. but then the look is gone, dante feels something in his chest twist painfully, and he walks inside.
even without his more demonic enhancements, dante's reflexes are still on point, catching the book before it collides directly with his head, blue eyes blinking rapidly. based off the cover against his fingers he already knows what it is, feels that thing inside his chest twist as he lowers it enough to see the big emblazoned v on the cover. he asked nero to keep it safe? dante had already jumped off the tree at that point, utterly oblivious to whatever happened between father and son in between the time dante lept and vergil join him. he asked nero to keep it safe, he intended to come back for it. ]
Yeah?
[ would vergil want it back, as he is now? does he even remember the book? does he even remember v? dante exhales heavy, smoothing his fingers across the cover before looking up and over at nero, brow furrowed in question. ]
[The most crucial and tragic thing about them all is how well they read each other. How well they understand and know. And how, despite all of that, they'll never speak about it, because that means being open and the pain in that will always make them clam up again. Nox is more used to expressing himself, more used to maneuvering through these things in a healthy way. But with his old family, things suddenly feel a lot harder, a lot heavier, to even try to talk about. It's like the weight of the goddamn world that sits on his shoulders if he even tries to explore it, let alone talk about it.
So Dante's motion of catching the book isn't surprising, and Nox notices how his uncle breathes out, looks over the book with purpose, with meaning. But he isn't expecting the question thrown back at him, not asking about Vergil. Nox blinks for a moment, really not knowing how to answer, at first. There is so much he feels, with Dante being here, and now with Vergil coming in out of left field. He doesn't know if he can voice it, doesn't know if he understands it well enough to explain–
But there is something he can do.
Nox exhales at that, a finger and thumb running down the edge of his nose as he contemplates his choices, before he settles into one. He crosses the space between the two of them, eyes sharp, mouth set in a firm line. By all intents and purposes, he looks like he's going to deck Dante for asking something so stupid, so idiotic, something that'd piss Nero off so quickly–
And he's already grabbed his uncle and embraced him, hands tightly gripping and answering what was asked.
You okay, kid?
He's not. He's not by a longshot. Nox buries his face into Dante's shoulder, words muffled, but he forces them out anyway.]
Look, I- I know I have a life here, a family–
[The way his hands hold onto his uncle's back speak so much more than what he says, mean all the words he can never shove out of his heart and past his throat.
But I missed you.
Where does love go, when you awaken to an old life and the tremendous amount of love you have for your old family comes with it? What do you do, when you realize that you're the only one from there, that you hold onto so many emotions you can't express to anyone because they just can't relate? Because they just don't know?
The answer is you compartmentalize it, place it in boxes and bury it in your heart, tell yourself that you don't need to dwell on the ache and the loneliness that crawls up your spine and threatens to erupt from your lungs anytime you get reminded of them. You tell yourself that your emotions are ridiculous, there's no reason to feel the way you do, like you want to hurl yourself at a wall again and again and again until you bleed, break bone, tear at something until it's only shreds. Any sort of pain to take your mind off the hurt that lives in your entire body, down to your soul, that will never leave you.
Nox has lived over a year by himself in this predicament, content and understanding that his old family just wasn't going to show, and that his found family would make up for it. He'd believed that the hole in his heart would disappear over time, grow smaller as he went through the motions, trusted that it'd be fine over time. It never was.
"And now I've found that I have a family- a real family. What am I supposed to do with that?"
He's back on the qliphoth, unsure of what to do, unsure of even how to stop what seems like the inevitable. Even now, in his condo, he's swimming in a confusing mess, unable to really pinpoint what he feels.
God, what a stupid, stupid thing he's done, all because he can't fucking control his emotions. If he wasn't used to living a normal life, he'd be so much more embarrassed.]
[ he doesn't expect an answer, of course, because they aren't the sort to talk these sorts of things out. dante and vergil don't talk their feelings out, they never have, choosing instead to parse them with the clashing of steel, of claws, of teeth. nero is still trying to find his footing, his place in this complicated mess of a family, and he doesn't get why his father and his uncle do what they do or how it could ever solve anything. nero is painfully human, lived most of his life as human as they come, he's never had to deal with the gnawing desire for dominance in the back of his mind. he sees their problems, and their disagreements, and cannot help but tell them to deal with them in a way utterly alien to them. talk it out.
funny how nero is just as bad at talking about things as they are.
dante doesn't expect the hug, doesn't expect nero to grab him and wrap his arms around him so tightly as if it was the only thing keeping dante from disappearing in a puff of smoke. he almost drops the book, mouth opened in preparation for a response that doesn't quite reach his lips. all of a sudden nero isn't twenty-seven, he isn't the badass demon hunter he left behind to keep an eye on things, he isn't that pain in the ass kid he found in fortuna; he's his kid nephew, scared and alone and utterly lost. ]
Hey, [ his grip tightens around the book as dante wraps his arms around nero in return, the hold momentarily awkward before he melts into it. when was the last time he hugged someone? ha. his free hand goes to nero's hair, idly mimicking motions he still has vague memories of his mother doing to his own hair when he came crying to her arms. ] It's alright, Nero.
[ is it? he doesn't really know. he can't say he understands what nero is feeling, how his love for the family he has here and the love for the family is leaving him a mess of confusion and guilt. all he can do is this, all he can do is offer some minute comfort that will do very little to soothe the storm in his head and his heart. ]
[He is. He's so human in how he thinks, in how he considers issues, in how he reacts to his own demon. It's honestly hard for Nox to even know what it was like in his past life, living as he did as Nero- but there's also a sense of understanding there, too. That despite all that, it was his human side that brought out his true power. It was his human side that knows love, and kindness, and what it means to have a heart. And it was his humanity that made him want to save his uncle and his father, regardless of what had happened in the past.
Nero is just really, really bad at following through when it comes to him using his own words as advice.
Nox is more than aware of this. He's been familiar with it and how much he couldn't believe, at first, how things had dragged out. Like he was watching things in slow motion and could only stare at it like a train crash happening before his eyes. The human part of him doesn't understand this, but maybe, just maybe...
Now, finally awoken and trusting of his demon, he'll get to learn what it's like to use violence as a language instead of words. (To have fun in clashing blades to the point where you hold nothing back, where you could clearly kill one another and yet you don't have a single care in the world, because everything that needs to be said is said in a fight. To bleed and batter and break and get back up and go right back at it because the thrill and the adrenaline and the need to talk through your sword is louder and more exciting than anything you've ever felt in your life.) Nox has never had the chance to truly experience this, not even with some of the unique people here. In many cases he still has to hold back, has to keep himself in check to enjoy the spar while still doing enough to be a challenge. Even with August, who can take what Nox gives, it's not the same; he doesn't have someone he can relate to and truly experience his demonic nature with.
Dante's reaction to Nox's embrace at first worries him, thinking he's overstepped and done something he really shouldn't have. That maybe his uncle isn't exactly like what he remembers, that somehow he'd gotten this entire thing wrong and he was about to find out why. But the instant Nox feels his uncle actually step into it, he knows everything's okay. The feelings he's lost in, the emotions he doesn't know how to describe– they're there, for sure, and they're going to be there for a while. But. Even those words, It's alright, Nero, help him in a way to settle his feet into a better idea of just how he's going to approach all of this. It has to be one step at a time, has to be slow and careful, but willing to step in and do what's right for himself and his family here.
Huh, funny. Mercedes and August had told him the same fucking thing a few days ago.
There's a sigh, and Nox seems to relax his hold, pulling back from the embrace entirely and casting his eyes elsewhere, looking away while he huffs out in embarrassment and partial annoyance.] Sorry. [Despite the surprising moment, this should look familiar to Dante. Namely, his nephew acting like a tsundere after doing something that doesn't quite fit his sassy jackassery.] Kinda just... it's a lot, right now. For all of us.
[Him, Dante, Vergil. Hell, a part of him wonders if he's gonna get any other family surprises anytime soon, or if he's just lucky because it's his birthday month.]
[ nero doesn't get far before the hand in his hair turns from soothing motions to an affectionate ruffle of hair, dante's face bright with one of those rare smiles that reaches up into his eyes. it's affectionate, relaxed, and almost open in the way he looks at nero despite his embarrassment, despite the way he turns from dante in an incredibly nero way. he has to wonder if something like this will happen to vergil, if the person he is will somehow merge with the person he was and that thought sits heavily in his chest. ]
Weren't you listening, kid? [ dante reaches up to ruffle his hair again, amusement all but shining in his eyes. ] It's fine. I know I have this big bad reputation to uphold ─ [ he really doesn't. ] ─ but I'm not against a hug every now and again. Didn't expect it from you though, it's a nice change.
[ fingers flex around the book, his gaze flicking down to it still in his hand, before holding it out for nero to take back. it's too early, he thinks, far too early at this point to be giving back something so... important. no, not just important, this book is a catalyst for more than just a few memories. even now dante can smell the faint traces of smoke trying to sneak through as the memory bubbles away in the back of his head. ]
Keep a hold on this for a while longer, yeah? Vergil is gonna want it back but... right now isn't going to be the best time.
[The hair ruffle is probably the one thing that settles him, in all this, loathe as a part of him is to admit it. It's normal, an interaction he had countless times with Dante as Nero, and he's sure he'll still have here as Nox. His uncle's words do cause him to at least look back at him to see that amusement, and the words just make him roll his eyes and playfully punch Dante in the arm.]
Yeah, "big bad reputation" my ass. You're full of shit, old man.
[He doesn't wanna talk about it, okay, i-it's not like he LIKES you or anything, b-baka!! Nox crosses his arms at that, exhaling even as Dante looks at the book again, then hands it back.]
Yeah, I... it was a lot, for me, at first. Memories, then suddenly being part-demon, getting a massive temper out of nowhere, then actually wanting to get violent– I get it. I wasn't planning on handing it back right now, he's got you to deal with and that's already a handful. [He loves you, Dante, really.] But. Figured I should show you it along with something else I've got.
[He holds the book in his hands, thumb running down the spine again as he thinks something over first.]
Okay but, question. What the fuck do we tell Vergil if he asks if we know each other?
[Vergil isn't stupid, he can put two and two together. Nox just wants to make sure they don't trip over each other if it happens.]
[ dante makes a face, quick enough to be missed, clutching at spot nero punches as though it truly, deeply, hurt. it lasts only a moment before he is laughing and shaking his head, fingers massaging the spot slightly. it hurt only for a moment, a reminder of how very human he is currently. ]
I know how it feels. [ he crosses his arms across his chest, gaze growing distant. ] But I don't know, it seems like he is taking it pretty well. He asked me to stay, guess he figured it would be easier to have me close at hand to answer questions than not.
[ that is the question, isn't it? why do they tell him? they could lie but how long will they be able to keep that up? besides once vergil remembers he could get pissed that they stuffed him around. ]
The truth. [ now, it's a radical idea, he knows. ] No point lying about it when he'll eventually remember.
[And that split second doesn't go unnoticed, a brow raising before he realizes oh, fuck, right- he doesn't have all his shit yet. He'll have to be careful for the time being. It's odd to be in the opposite position, he always remembers Dante being stronger than him, not the other way around. Until they all were an even match, at least.
There's a bit of hesitance at this, listening to his uncle. What he says makes sense, but it doesn't make it any easier for Nox to really swallow. For him, it's mostly having to deal with the fact that anything he says or does might trigger Vergil's memory of him and who he actually is. And who he is in relation to Vergil.]
He's basically gonna get to see Red Queen up close in his shop within the next week or so. Said he has an interest in how she has a combustible engine, so I'll be bringing her. [A beat.] I'm pretty much expecting him to remember something when he sees her, I just don't know what.
But, yeah. [Nox blows air out of his teeth, fingers digging into his arms.] Gonna be honest, that conversation is gonna be awkward as hell. One minute you're just a regular guy, and then surprise, someone tells you that you're their parent in your past life. That sure doesn't complicate things at all.
[He lets out an aggravated sigh, but concedes anyway.] I won't keep the truth from him, trust me. I'm just not expecting a great reaction and the last thing I wanna do is aggravate him more when he's already dealing with shit.
[Oh, which reminds him, shit– Nox raises a finger to indicate he'll be back in a second, taking Vergil's book with him, only to come back a minute later.]
So, remember I said I had one more thing to show you? [It's easy to see even before he fully raises his hands- he's holding a katana that is achingly familiar to both of them. Yamato.] She showed up in my condo a few months ago, definitely not as strong as I remember her, but it's her for sure.
It's not going to be any more awkward than a guy showing up with your face and finding out he's your twin brother in a past life.
[ he chooses not to mention the fact the first thing he had done was walk up and hug vergil, that seeing his brother after everything was almost too much to take. that the realization that vergil, his vergil, had somehow died and was reborn here made dante's stomach churn with an anger he can't quite shake, even now. it is still something he refuses to think on longer than he has to, else the demon in his blood howl in barely contained fury. ]
Kid, it's Vergil. Something, somehow, is going to aggravate him no matter what happens. He's a big boy, he can handle it. Trust me.
[ he can understand the kid's concern and in truth, it is almost... sweet that he is so worried about his father like this, but they are delt with worse. vergil has delt with worse. he has faith in his twin that he'll pull through.
whatever else he was going to say is silenced by the finger, an eyebrow raising in question as he watches the kid disappear further into the condo only to back a minute later. dante doesn't need to see it to guess what it is, to know what it is. yamato, different from the last he saw it in his brother's hands, but still very much the same. ]
Yeah, there is something off. [ part of him wants to reach for the sword, feels his blood sing in a way only rebellion and yamato have ever done. he doesn't, however, fingers tightening around his upper arms instead. ] But that is the Yamato alright.
[That, though? That makes Nox actually try and fail to hold back a laugh at Dante's who insistence on Vergil dealing with finding out he has a twin.]
Yeah, okay. Fair.
[Just because someone can handle it doesn't mean they should, he wants to say- but both Dante and Vergil got the worst end of that tale, right? Nero was the one to set them back on track after so much had happened and so many things had torn them both to pieces. So he keeps his mouth shut and just nods. Vergil is going to learn in one way or another, but softening the blow instead of just slamming it down on his head like a hammer can make all the difference, in Nox's mind.
Still, even with Yamato between them now, Nox doesn't even hesitate to offer her to Dante to inspect himself. He knows the importance of her to both the twins, so it's a no-brainer that he hands her over.]
I haven't really done much with her because... [He hesitates here.] Well, yeah. She's Vergil's. [But she was also Nero's too, he's well aware.] Felt like if I was gonna use her, I should use her properly, you know? Didn't exactly learn much in that aspect back then. [Yamato didn't seem to mind, but Nox wants to give her the respect she deserves, and he doesn't know if he can give her that right now.]
[ nero offers it and dante uncrosses his arms, unable to stop himself from reaching out and taking hold of the blade. the weight is familiar, the feel of the sheath against his fingers, dante isn't able to stop the soft exhale that leaves his lips as one hand travels up the sheath to take hold of the grip tightly. with a click the blade is pulled from the sheath just enough for the metal to glint in the light, there is something definitely different about the blade, perhaps made weaker due to whatever bullshit messed with their powers. ]
[It's his father's sword for sure, though Nox still feels incredibly attached to it.]
That's the million dollar question. Honestly... I kinda wanna play it by ear? [Nox shrugs at that, unsure what else to do at this point.] I think he wouldn't take it well with having you and suddenly a sword to add to all the shit he's learning. She's his, obviously, and I won't keep her from him, but-
[He doesn't want to overwhelm Vergil, he doesn't even know he has a son yet. Better to take these things one at a time.]
[ dante slides the blade back into its sheath as nero talks, gaze moving up to catch the kid's. it really is the million dollar question, isn't it? as much as it is vergil's sword there he knows nero is just as attached to it. maybe it's because of a ll he went through with it, or because dante had entrusted it to him, or something else that has yet to enter dante's mind. ]
Yeah, yeah. I get it. [ he turns the sword around, holding it out for nero to take back. ] Maybe when the time comes you can be the one to give it back to him, along with the book.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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one day he'll apologize, find some way to make it up to him. ]
i won't i just need to see him is all
need to confirm it's actually him and not some shit i've made up in my head
it's pathetic i know
feel free to rib me all you want
i'm at his shop
can't believe the fucker owns an antique shop
i'll message you after
no subject
im still not sure im not being pranked by bullshit tbh
wouldnt be out of line for zodiac
dante
vergils a fucking book nerd
why is this even surprising tbh
but sure lmk
["Be careful," he wants to say– but there's no reason to even say it. He doesn't know why he even wants to. So Nox doesn't, just lets the lump that's been in his throat sit there as he places both hands against his temples and wills himself to not fucking scream in all the emotions he's currently swimming in.
One fucking day he's going to talk to these two like a normal person. One day. Just... not now.]
no subject
we're good
gonna be staying at vergil's from now
thanks for lending me your couch kid
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aight if thats how it is then thats how it is
np really
my place is still open if you need it tho
gonna drop by one last time or are you good there?
also if hes anything BUT what we know as vergil im p sure youll fix that right
last thing i need is to die of embarrassment bc hes a fucking boomer who doesnt know shit at all
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he offered me the room couldn't really say no
if you want me to come by nero you only gotta ask
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i wouldve thought hed have kicked your ass out
not that itd stop you from going back but
you get what i mean
[If you want me to come by Nero, you only gotta ask.
If this were anyone else, it'd be an easy task. If it were anyone else, this would be stupid to even think about for more than a second. But Dante and Vergil are his old family, and for better or worse, they bring out some of the worst habits Nox had as Nero. Namely, the family's horrific skills at communication.
Aka "can't spit it out" disease.
Nox debates on what to say. He's glad his uncle convinced Vergil without too much (?) effort, but another part of him already feels... frustrated? Hurt? That his uncle is leaving. Which is absolutely stupid, he's just moving to another section of the city, it's not as if Dante is actually leaving-
Nox knows this is a childish response, knows it's dumb and idiotic and his feelings are immensely going between extreme to nonchalant, due to the current city events. Still. Still...
In the end, he manages more than just a simple "nah, I'm good." Who knew using words might actually be important?]
yeah
i hear you
might as well hop your ass over here rq then
still have a thing or two to show you between the mess in the city rn
no subject
i'll be there in a few
[ a few is, ultimately, more than a few minutes more like twenty, regardless he shows up after the twenty-ish minutes to nero's door rapping his knuckles against it once, twice, then a third time. he knew he had to come back, of course, knew he couldn't just leave it at a 'thanks for the couch later kid' because it's nero and dante is keenly aware of those little voices in the back of his head hissing away. he had been an orphan once upon a time as well, a kid without family or friends, a kid who had been abandoned by his mother, his brother, his father. after recently getting dante back to have him leave suddenly? well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the kid might be feeling.
dante would be feeling the same if their positions were reversed. ]
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Nox knows Dante wouldn't go back on his word, couldn't, didn't do that, not for this, he had no reason to– the one very small but loud voice in his head telling him That's it, he's said his piece, now he's gone. Did you really think he'd want to stay, now that he's found Vergil? He hates it, feeling his demon grow restless and pace, agitation starting to sink under his skin. It feels like an eternity as he struggles to not actually act exactly like his demon is, trying to stay still and finally just plastering a magazine on his face.
This is the worst.
So when he hears the door, he practically jumps for it. The knocks don't go unanswered, Nox hopping up off one of the chairs in the living room to turn the knob after the third one. Opening the door reveals his uncle, and for a very brief, very small moment, relief shows in Nox's eyes. Like he's not twenty-seven, but suddenly six, back as Nero, in the orphanage, hoping and praying for his real family to come save him one day. Then, it's gone, and Nox grins, jerking his head towards the inside.]
C'mon. [Not that Dante needs an invite into his condo, but still.
Not much has changed since his uncle last spent the night, but at least his nephew has more of an idea of what to bring to his attention. It's been a rough two weeks already.]
So, think fast. [At that, he's tossing what looks like a book straight at Dante, not waiting to see if he's ready for it or not. And while it's not anything magical, that book will probably look familiar, especially with the 'V' on the cover itself.] Had this for a while, before you came. I've kept it safe, like he asked me to.
[Vergil handing him the book as he left, telling him to hold onto it until he returns. The memory is a solid one, but it's one Nox fiercely clings to even in this life, even if Vergil, now, has no realization of who he is at all.]
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even without his more demonic enhancements, dante's reflexes are still on point, catching the book before it collides directly with his head, blue eyes blinking rapidly. based off the cover against his fingers he already knows what it is, feels that thing inside his chest twist as he lowers it enough to see the big emblazoned v on the cover. he asked nero to keep it safe? dante had already jumped off the tree at that point, utterly oblivious to whatever happened between father and son in between the time dante lept and vergil join him. he asked nero to keep it safe, he intended to come back for it. ]
Yeah?
[ would vergil want it back, as he is now? does he even remember the book? does he even remember v? dante exhales heavy, smoothing his fingers across the cover before looking up and over at nero, brow furrowed in question. ]
You okay, kid?
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So Dante's motion of catching the book isn't surprising, and Nox notices how his uncle breathes out, looks over the book with purpose, with meaning. But he isn't expecting the question thrown back at him, not asking about Vergil. Nox blinks for a moment, really not knowing how to answer, at first. There is so much he feels, with Dante being here, and now with Vergil coming in out of left field. He doesn't know if he can voice it, doesn't know if he understands it well enough to explain–
But there is something he can do.
Nox exhales at that, a finger and thumb running down the edge of his nose as he contemplates his choices, before he settles into one. He crosses the space between the two of them, eyes sharp, mouth set in a firm line. By all intents and purposes, he looks like he's going to deck Dante for asking something so stupid, so idiotic, something that'd piss Nero off so quickly–
And he's already grabbed his uncle and embraced him, hands tightly gripping and answering what was asked.
You okay, kid?
He's not. He's not by a longshot. Nox buries his face into Dante's shoulder, words muffled, but he forces them out anyway.]
Look, I- I know I have a life here, a family–
[The way his hands hold onto his uncle's back speak so much more than what he says, mean all the words he can never shove out of his heart and past his throat.
But I missed you.
Where does love go, when you awaken to an old life and the tremendous amount of love you have for your old family comes with it? What do you do, when you realize that you're the only one from there, that you hold onto so many emotions you can't express to anyone because they just can't relate? Because they just don't know?
The answer is you compartmentalize it, place it in boxes and bury it in your heart, tell yourself that you don't need to dwell on the ache and the loneliness that crawls up your spine and threatens to erupt from your lungs anytime you get reminded of them. You tell yourself that your emotions are ridiculous, there's no reason to feel the way you do, like you want to hurl yourself at a wall again and again and again until you bleed, break bone, tear at something until it's only shreds. Any sort of pain to take your mind off the hurt that lives in your entire body, down to your soul, that will never leave you.
Nox has lived over a year by himself in this predicament, content and understanding that his old family just wasn't going to show, and that his found family would make up for it. He'd believed that the hole in his heart would disappear over time, grow smaller as he went through the motions, trusted that it'd be fine over time. It never was.
"And now I've found that I have a family- a real family. What am I supposed to do with that?"
He's back on the qliphoth, unsure of what to do, unsure of even how to stop what seems like the inevitable. Even now, in his condo, he's swimming in a confusing mess, unable to really pinpoint what he feels.
God, what a stupid, stupid thing he's done, all because he can't fucking control his emotions. If he wasn't used to living a normal life, he'd be so much more embarrassed.]
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funny how nero is just as bad at talking about things as they are.
dante doesn't expect the hug, doesn't expect nero to grab him and wrap his arms around him so tightly as if it was the only thing keeping dante from disappearing in a puff of smoke. he almost drops the book, mouth opened in preparation for a response that doesn't quite reach his lips. all of a sudden nero isn't twenty-seven, he isn't the badass demon hunter he left behind to keep an eye on things, he isn't that pain in the ass kid he found in fortuna; he's his kid nephew, scared and alone and utterly lost. ]
Hey, [ his grip tightens around the book as dante wraps his arms around nero in return, the hold momentarily awkward before he melts into it. when was the last time he hugged someone? ha. his free hand goes to nero's hair, idly mimicking motions he still has vague memories of his mother doing to his own hair when he came crying to her arms. ] It's alright, Nero.
[ is it? he doesn't really know. he can't say he understands what nero is feeling, how his love for the family he has here and the love for the family is leaving him a mess of confusion and guilt. all he can do is this, all he can do is offer some minute comfort that will do very little to soothe the storm in his head and his heart. ]
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Nero is just really, really bad at following through when it comes to him using his own words as advice.
Nox is more than aware of this. He's been familiar with it and how much he couldn't believe, at first, how things had dragged out. Like he was watching things in slow motion and could only stare at it like a train crash happening before his eyes. The human part of him doesn't understand this, but maybe, just maybe...
Now, finally awoken and trusting of his demon, he'll get to learn what it's like to use violence as a language instead of words. (To have fun in clashing blades to the point where you hold nothing back, where you could clearly kill one another and yet you don't have a single care in the world, because everything that needs to be said is said in a fight. To bleed and batter and break and get back up and go right back at it because the thrill and the adrenaline and the need to talk through your sword is louder and more exciting than anything you've ever felt in your life.) Nox has never had the chance to truly experience this, not even with some of the unique people here. In many cases he still has to hold back, has to keep himself in check to enjoy the spar while still doing enough to be a challenge. Even with August, who can take what Nox gives, it's not the same; he doesn't have someone he can relate to and truly experience his demonic nature with.
Dante's reaction to Nox's embrace at first worries him, thinking he's overstepped and done something he really shouldn't have. That maybe his uncle isn't exactly like what he remembers, that somehow he'd gotten this entire thing wrong and he was about to find out why. But the instant Nox feels his uncle actually step into it, he knows everything's okay. The feelings he's lost in, the emotions he doesn't know how to describe– they're there, for sure, and they're going to be there for a while. But. Even those words, It's alright, Nero, help him in a way to settle his feet into a better idea of just how he's going to approach all of this. It has to be one step at a time, has to be slow and careful, but willing to step in and do what's right for himself and his family here.
Huh, funny. Mercedes and August had told him the same fucking thing a few days ago.
There's a sigh, and Nox seems to relax his hold, pulling back from the embrace entirely and casting his eyes elsewhere, looking away while he huffs out in embarrassment and partial annoyance.] Sorry. [Despite the surprising moment, this should look familiar to Dante. Namely, his nephew acting like a tsundere after doing something that doesn't quite fit his sassy jackassery.] Kinda just... it's a lot, right now. For all of us.
[Him, Dante, Vergil. Hell, a part of him wonders if he's gonna get any other family surprises anytime soon, or if he's just lucky because it's his birthday month.]
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Weren't you listening, kid? [ dante reaches up to ruffle his hair again, amusement all but shining in his eyes. ] It's fine. I know I have this big bad reputation to uphold ─ [ he really doesn't. ] ─ but I'm not against a hug every now and again. Didn't expect it from you though, it's a nice change.
[ fingers flex around the book, his gaze flicking down to it still in his hand, before holding it out for nero to take back. it's too early, he thinks, far too early at this point to be giving back something so... important. no, not just important, this book is a catalyst for more than just a few memories. even now dante can smell the faint traces of smoke trying to sneak through as the memory bubbles away in the back of his head. ]
Keep a hold on this for a while longer, yeah? Vergil is gonna want it back but... right now isn't going to be the best time.
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Yeah, "big bad reputation" my ass. You're full of shit, old man.
[
He doesn't wanna talk about it, okay, i-it's not like he LIKES you or anything, b-baka!!Nox crosses his arms at that, exhaling even as Dante looks at the book again, then hands it back.]Yeah, I... it was a lot, for me, at first. Memories, then suddenly being part-demon, getting a massive temper out of nowhere, then actually wanting to get violent– I get it. I wasn't planning on handing it back right now, he's got you to deal with and that's already a handful. [He loves you, Dante, really.] But. Figured I should show you it along with something else I've got.
[He holds the book in his hands, thumb running down the spine again as he thinks something over first.]
Okay but, question. What the fuck do we tell Vergil if he asks if we know each other?
[Vergil isn't stupid, he can put two and two together. Nox just wants to make sure they don't trip over each other if it happens.]
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I know how it feels. [ he crosses his arms across his chest, gaze growing distant. ] But I don't know, it seems like he is taking it pretty well. He asked me to stay, guess he figured it would be easier to have me close at hand to answer questions than not.
[ that is the question, isn't it? why do they tell him? they could lie but how long will they be able to keep that up? besides once vergil remembers he could get pissed that they stuffed him around. ]
The truth. [ now, it's a radical idea, he knows. ] No point lying about it when he'll eventually remember.
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There's a bit of hesitance at this, listening to his uncle. What he says makes sense, but it doesn't make it any easier for Nox to really swallow. For him, it's mostly having to deal with the fact that anything he says or does might trigger Vergil's memory of him and who he actually is. And who he is in relation to Vergil.]
He's basically gonna get to see Red Queen up close in his shop within the next week or so. Said he has an interest in how she has a combustible engine, so I'll be bringing her. [A beat.] I'm pretty much expecting him to remember something when he sees her, I just don't know what.
But, yeah. [Nox blows air out of his teeth, fingers digging into his arms.] Gonna be honest, that conversation is gonna be awkward as hell. One minute you're just a regular guy, and then surprise, someone tells you that you're their parent in your past life. That sure doesn't complicate things at all.
[He lets out an aggravated sigh, but concedes anyway.] I won't keep the truth from him, trust me. I'm just not expecting a great reaction and the last thing I wanna do is aggravate him more when he's already dealing with shit.
[Oh, which reminds him, shit– Nox raises a finger to indicate he'll be back in a second, taking Vergil's book with him, only to come back a minute later.]
So, remember I said I had one more thing to show you? [It's easy to see even before he fully raises his hands- he's holding a katana that is achingly familiar to both of them. Yamato.] She showed up in my condo a few months ago, definitely not as strong as I remember her, but it's her for sure.
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[ he chooses not to mention the fact the first thing he had done was walk up and hug vergil, that seeing his brother after everything was almost too much to take. that the realization that vergil, his vergil, had somehow died and was reborn here made dante's stomach churn with an anger he can't quite shake, even now. it is still something he refuses to think on longer than he has to, else the demon in his blood howl in barely contained fury. ]
Kid, it's Vergil. Something, somehow, is going to aggravate him no matter what happens. He's a big boy, he can handle it. Trust me.
[ he can understand the kid's concern and in truth, it is almost... sweet that he is so worried about his father like this, but they are delt with worse. vergil has delt with worse. he has faith in his twin that he'll pull through.
whatever else he was going to say is silenced by the finger, an eyebrow raising in question as he watches the kid disappear further into the condo only to back a minute later. dante doesn't need to see it to guess what it is, to know what it is. yamato, different from the last he saw it in his brother's hands, but still very much the same. ]
Yeah, there is something off. [ part of him wants to reach for the sword, feels his blood sing in a way only rebellion and yamato have ever done. he doesn't, however, fingers tightening around his upper arms instead. ] But that is the Yamato alright.
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Yeah, okay. Fair.
[Just because someone can handle it doesn't mean they should, he wants to say- but both Dante and Vergil got the worst end of that tale, right? Nero was the one to set them back on track after so much had happened and so many things had torn them both to pieces. So he keeps his mouth shut and just nods. Vergil is going to learn in one way or another, but softening the blow instead of just slamming it down on his head like a hammer can make all the difference, in Nox's mind.
Still, even with Yamato between them now, Nox doesn't even hesitate to offer her to Dante to inspect himself. He knows the importance of her to both the twins, so it's a no-brainer that he hands her over.]
I haven't really done much with her because... [He hesitates here.] Well, yeah. She's Vergil's. [But she was also Nero's too, he's well aware.] Felt like if I was gonna use her, I should use her properly, you know? Didn't exactly learn much in that aspect back then. [Yamato didn't seem to mind, but Nox wants to give her the respect she deserves, and he doesn't know if he can give her that right now.]
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So, what do you want to do with her?
[ that's the question, isn't it? ]
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That's the million dollar question. Honestly... I kinda wanna play it by ear? [Nox shrugs at that, unsure what else to do at this point.] I think he wouldn't take it well with having you and suddenly a sword to add to all the shit he's learning. She's his, obviously, and I won't keep her from him, but-
[He doesn't want to overwhelm Vergil, he doesn't even know he has a son yet. Better to take these things one at a time.]
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Yeah, yeah. I get it. [ he turns the sword around, holding it out for nero to take back. ] Maybe when the time comes you can be the one to give it back to him, along with the book.