inbox.

[sassery]

SUBJECT: CAN HAZ CHEEZBRGR? STATUS: DELIVERED

  SENDER: $USERNAME
  RECEIPIENT: $DEVILBREAKER

"Look, I'm out. Leave a message if you want, I'll probably get back to you. P.S. If you understand this, send memes- my life is over my crops are dying."

ATTACHMENT: //DOGE.EXT

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Comments

[pompoused]

how have you never heard of vesuvia?! there's no way you wouldn't know about it if you were anywhere near.

[sassery]

more than likely bc were not from the same place
look
you ever heard of an island called fortuna?
or a city called red grave city?

[pompoused]

well, no... are they tiny?

[ though, 'red grave city' reminds him of the lazaret - a tiny island off the shore of vesuvia that housed victims of the plague in their final days. lucio doesn't like to think about such things... ]

[sassery]

not at all
fortunas basically the only island in my place that actually locks itself away from the world
rarely lets insiders in unless youre interested in doing a pilgrimage
red grave city just got hauled out of a massive hell tree that p much nearly destroyed the world
so yeah
not from the same worlds here

[pompoused]

well i'm not a magician so i can't hop to different realms. it's really quite busy being the count of vesuvia anyway.

[sassery]

i mean idk anyone who can tbh
last people i knew were basically gods
and a count?
those titles still exist for you guys?

[pompoused]

yes... ? why wouldn't they?

[sassery]

bc theyre not a thing here
not anymore
not for like
what
2k years?
i think

[pompoused]

that's a lot of years. why the hell would a count not be a thing?! i don't get it!

[sassery]

the world moved on tbh
i mean theres still royalty or w/e
but its not really common anymore
kinda considered weird now in the modern world

[pompoused]

how could the world just... move on??

[ lucio is stuck on that, feeling it on a deeply personal level. ]

[sassery]

i mean
my world has
but yeah
some places still revolve around lords and counts and whatever else
but a lot of other places just dont
doesnt make sense
a lot of people just dont like being ruled over

[pompoused]

WHAT? HOW DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT TO DO IF THEY'RE NOT TOLD WHERE TO PARTY OR WHAT TO DO. YOU CAN'T JUST MOVE ON... I DON'T GET IT.

[ is his capslock key broken or...? ]

[sassery]

i mean its not hard if you have a brain
like
people just choose to have parties with friends now at their places
or they just go where they wanna go
provided its legal
and yknow theres no demons or w/e
lifeisgood.jpg and all that

oh btw have u heard of boffa dese
or updog
theyre important

[pompoused]

oh thank GOD you people still party or i think i'd have a heart attack. i don't get how demons get to stick around but counts aren't a thing anymore?? how is that fair?!

... i have not heard of any of those things, no.

[sassery]

oh yeah ofc people know how to party
were not boring
theres a lot of other fun stuff too besides that

demons are always around tbh theyre always trying to get to the human realm
its a thing
counts arent around bc shit just went modern here

i mean
makes sense
but have you considered boffa dese nuts

[pompoused]

fun stuff besides parties?! like what

sounds like you guys have a real demon problem... but i've been there.

i'm more of a fruits person?? nuts are ok i guess but they're not that great.

[ yeah uh, he has no idea what you're getting at. ]

[sassery]

like movies?
or just lounging with friends and chilling
or idk getting into fights bc thats fun too
at least for me it is

hell yeah we do
i mean my place has a literal hell and a human realm
used to be sealed from each other over 2k years ago
nowadays demons kinda roam over when they want
its why its my job to take care of them

[Oh. Oh. This is so good, this is perfectly hilarious. It takes Nero nearly five minutes to reply to that because holy shit.]

oh buddy
pal
i will remember that for future reference
thanks for that

[He is not telling him what a meme is. Not yet.]