![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
inbox.
SUBJECT: CAN HAZ CHEEZBRGR? STATUS: DELIVERED
SENDER: $USERNAME
RECEIPIENT: $DEVILBREAKER
RECEIPIENT: $DEVILBREAKER
"Look, I'm out. Leave a message if you want, I'll probably get back to you.
P.S. If you understand this, send memes- my life is over my crops are dying."
ATTACHMENT: //DOGE.EXT
ATTACHMENT: //DOGE.EXT
DOWNLOAD 🔽
REPLY 💬
ARCHIVE 📂
DELETE ❌
$mephistopheles
1/2
Thank god, something familiar. It's not a meme, but he'll take it at this rate.]
no subject
a rope is so y2k
get you a guy who has a whip in his arm
then well talk
[Spoilers, it's him. He's the guy with a whip in one of his robot arms.]
no subject
wait what
a whip in his arm???
no subject
like i said
whip in his arm
tho tbh its like one of the seven? eight?
kinds of arms i usually wear
depends on the day and the job tbh
no subject
[ he's jealous and currently moping at his golden arm that doesn't do anything except look pretty and replace missing flesh. ]
no subject
dont think shes here and tbh id never hear the end of it if she was
she makes a ton of shit like this bc she loves doing that stuff
no subject
[ unfortunately for lucio, he permanently imprisoned the makers of his own metal arm so they're unlikely to help him if he requested any upgrades... ]
no subject
but hey she likes a challenge
doubt vesuvia is around my place anyways
never heard of it
no subject
no subject
look
you ever heard of an island called fortuna?
or a city called red grave city?
no subject
[ though, 'red grave city' reminds him of the lazaret - a tiny island off the shore of vesuvia that housed victims of the plague in their final days. lucio doesn't like to think about such things... ]
no subject
fortunas basically the only island in my place that actually locks itself away from the world
rarely lets insiders in unless youre interested in doing a pilgrimage
red grave city just got hauled out of a massive hell tree that p much nearly destroyed the world
so yeah
not from the same worlds here
no subject
no subject
last people i knew were basically gods
and a count?
those titles still exist for you guys?
no subject
no subject
not anymore
not for like
what
2k years?
i think
no subject
no subject
i mean theres still royalty or w/e
but its not really common anymore
kinda considered weird now in the modern world
no subject
[ lucio is stuck on that, feeling it on a deeply personal level. ]
no subject
my world has
but yeah
some places still revolve around lords and counts and whatever else
but a lot of other places just dont
doesnt make sense
a lot of people just dont like being ruled over
no subject
[ is his capslock key broken or...? ]
no subject
like
people just choose to have parties with friends now at their places
or they just go where they wanna go
provided its legal
and yknow theres no demons or w/e
lifeisgood.jpg and all that
oh btw have u heard of boffa dese
or updog
theyre important
no subject
... i have not heard of any of those things, no.
no subject
were not boring
theres a lot of other fun stuff too besides that
demons are always around tbh theyre always trying to get to the human realm
its a thing
counts arent around bc shit just went modern here
i mean
makes sense
but have you considered boffa dese nuts
no subject
sounds like you guys have a real demon problem... but i've been there.
i'm more of a fruits person?? nuts are ok i guess but they're not that great.
[ yeah uh, he has no idea what you're getting at. ]
no subject
or just lounging with friends and chilling
or idk getting into fights bc thats fun too
at least for me it is
hell yeah we do
i mean my place has a literal hell and a human realm
used to be sealed from each other over 2k years ago
nowadays demons kinda roam over when they want
its why its my job to take care of them
[Oh. Oh. This is so good, this is perfectly hilarious. It takes Nero nearly five minutes to reply to that because holy shit.]
oh buddy
pal
i will remember that for future reference
thanks for that
[He is not telling him what a meme is. Not yet.]
ACTION!! so upset Lucio popped this cherry before me...bursts into tears
Life's just no fun on his own. Who is he supposed to share midnight pancakes with?!
Which is why at approximately 12:35am on a Monday night, there comes a rustling from the kitchen in a neighbor's apartment. If inspected, they'll find it curiously empty. Though the kitchen sink faucet is dripping something fierce.
Once approached, something balloons out of it — something horrid, something unknowable, inhuman, relentless!!]
Hellooooooo~
[It's happy to see you.]
headpats, yakko gets the action cherry pop instead
So to hear the noise coming from his kitchen already has him alert and wondering what the hell is going on. His entire body is tense, unsure. Add on the fact that there's nothing that seems really amiss until he approaches the sink? And then there's.... that.]
What the-
[WHAM. Uh. Yeah he might've just punched him without even thinking? If he can punch that thing, he has no idea what it is. The only thing he can tell is that is not a demon, he'd feel if that was a demon. But uh, sorry, Yakko? He's used to a lot of things, but a cartoon just coming out of a faucet is new, even for him.]
i suppose that will have to do....
Yikes!!
[The thing slurps back up the faucet in the blink of an eye.
Only to reappear, bubbling out of the dish soap bottle to the left.]
Can I have a moment of your time?
no subject
[Where the hell did that thing- not even Furies move like that, they're fast as hell but they don't just... go back into a faucet like a liquid??????? Is he seeing shit? Did he eat something bad at the diner? What the fuck is all of this.
Not to mention this thing shows up next in his dish soap bottle???????????????
He's turning to immediately try and grab Yakko, even if he really has no idea what'll happen if he does. He'll wing it, honestly.]
no subject
[And schlooop! Back down the soap dispenser he goes. It's a close call though. The guy had brushed him by the ears.
So when Yakko resurfaces again, it's from the stove top just a scoot and a half away. This is fun, but also, he does not wish to die. This time he risks leaning on the edge of the oven, bent over to hail him with a wave.]
Your time! No need to panic!
no subject
He's so tempted to yoink Yakko off his oven, but decides against it for the moment.]
My time for what?
no subject
I have but one question for you, sir! Do you—
[He steeples his fingers in front of his mouth. Squints. Raises his brows.]
—like pancakes?
no subject
Most people would think Yakko's question is totally inane, and really, they're not wrong. Nero is kind of used to this weirdness by now, though.]
...........pancakes? Yeah, who doesn't?
[In the tone of "if someone doesn't like pancakes then they obviously are not a fun person."]
no subject
[That's the exact tone he was looking for. Yakko hops clear out of the stove and onto the counter adjacent, but he's not done yet. He sticks his head and arms back into the burner, rummaging, tossing things out as he finds them.
A frying pan, landing on the largest burner. A bowl of batter, sloshing but dropping on the counter without spilling once. Cooking oil. Maple syrup. A stick of butter. A spatula, a large wooden spoon. A french press full of coffee. Two plates and sets of cutlery and a pack of bacon, a carton of eggs. A bowl of blueberries, because why not?
He pulls back out with a serene smile and lights the burner under the pan, pouring the oil, humming happily.]
Hope you're not vegan! I used eggs and milk.
no subject
Nero crosses his arms and raises a brow, watching.]
You really planned all this, huh. [He listens to the question and waves a hand, snorting.] Not on your life, I'd die without a burger and fries some days.
So. [A pause, because neon city is now just as weird as he thought it was.] You got a name?
no subject
[He's used to doing it for at least three. Usually fourteen, as Wakko accounts for a dozen servings on his own. Be grateful he remembered not to make that much batter.
And as for who to bestow such a lovely gift on? He more or less flicked blueberries at the housing plan until he hit a likely room, and then down the faucet he went. It's good luck he caught a nightowl, trying to feed people while they slept was messy work.
The first three pre-pancake globs hit the pan with a chorus of hisses, and he's free to gab. Yakko spins around, sticking a thumb to his chest.]
I'm Yakko! Yakko Warner, the one and only! Who are you?
[He...can't really tell what this guy's deal was. Outside of reviving frosted tips. Was silver hair really such a big trend off Pinterest?]
no subject
So you're used to just randomly showing up at someone's place to offer pancakes at midnight?
[Definitely not the weirdest thing he's ever heard. That whole... disappearing/reappearing thing as if he's made of liquid is certainly new though.]
Nero. Can't exactly say I've heard of a Warner, but good to meet you.
no subject
Or it could be that Yakko's going too soft on these folks. So sue him. It's hard to muster that same mischievous thrill without his two favorite hellions to help out. What's he left with now? Alienating the world, becoming hardened? Grizzled? A vengeful anti-hero who trusts no one but the adamantium claws that sprout between his knuckles?
No thank you. Although being Hugh Jackman would give him a delightful Broadway voice.]
No, I'm just used to sharing them. That's all. But I always show up when least expected! [He gives a happy hum, flipping the first batch. They're tipped to the side so he can lay down a couple strips of bacon.] Nero? Wow. I was told we already had a Caesar, but this is incredible. Who's next? Caligula?
[Let's hope not.]
And how come you've never heard of a Warner? What were you doing Saturday mornings as a kid? Watching Good Morning America?
no subject
[He's kidding- also, that batch already smells amazing???? Yakko please, how are you even real.]
Saturday mornings? Fighting other kids, probably. [A beat, no he is not kidding with that, actually.] Let's just say the island I live on is pretty much backwards. Got electricity, plumbing, and cars- but no other distractions. Also a more medieval look to it. [He's not gonna mention Fortuna basically hosts a cult, here, even if the more dangerous part of that's disappeared five years ago.] Whatever I was supposed to be doing is definitely not what Fortuna did.
no subject
[Okay that's enough of that. He gives the pan a toss and starts setting up the rest of the goods. Kettle on, gotta whisk the eggs...]
Fighting kids? On an island? [He's about to ask if Nero grew up with those Lord of the Flies kids when he starts in on electricity and plumbing, so nix to that idea. Thankfully.] How's it more medieval when you've already got cars on the island? Do you joust with them?
Anyway, I was on TV all the time! Me and my sibs. So you've missed out, clearly. I hope all that fighting was worth it.
a delivery
I'm sorry for the mess, and thank you.
06/04
"This was left for you at the front desk a few moments ago," they say. "I'm afraid I didn't get the name of the person who left it, but they wanted to make sure it got to you." ]