inbox.

[sassery]

SUBJECT: CAN HAZ CHEEZBRGR? STATUS: DELIVERED

  SENDER: $USERNAME
  RECEIPIENT: $DEVILBREAKER

"Look, I'm out. Leave a message if you want, I'll probably get back to you. P.S. If you understand this, send memes- my life is over my crops are dying."

ATTACHMENT: //DOGE.EXT

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[karmacomecalling]

Of your—Hey!

[And schlooop! Back down the soap dispenser he goes. It's a close call though. The guy had brushed him by the ears.

So when Yakko resurfaces again, it's from the stove top just a scoot and a half away. This is fun, but also, he does not wish to die. This time he risks leaning on the edge of the oven, bent over to hail him with a wave.]

Your time! No need to panic!

[sassery]

[This time, Nero actually stops himself from immediately striking out- turning to actually face Yakko as he sits on the edge of the oven. He tilts his head, eyes adjusting to figure out what exactly this all is, and if he's just imagining this or he's actually seeing the real thing.

He's so tempted to yoink Yakko off his oven, but decides against it for the moment.]

My time for what?

[karmacomecalling]

Depends! [Yakko declares, pushing upright. He's still anchored within the stovetop so he better get this out quick, before the guy decides to light the burner.]

I have but one question for you, sir! Do you—

[He steeples his fingers in front of his mouth. Squints. Raises his brows.]

—like pancakes?

[sassery]

[You keep moving like that, bucko, and he will turn on the burner. As it stands now, he's got no reason to, but man, this is kinda wild for a midnight roundabout.

Most people would think Yakko's question is totally inane, and really, they're not wrong. Nero is kind of used to this weirdness by now, though.]

...........pancakes? Yeah, who doesn't?

[In the tone of "if someone doesn't like pancakes then they obviously are not a fun person."]

[karmacomecalling]

GREAT!

[That's the exact tone he was looking for. Yakko hops clear out of the stove and onto the counter adjacent, but he's not done yet. He sticks his head and arms back into the burner, rummaging, tossing things out as he finds them.

A frying pan, landing on the largest burner. A bowl of batter, sloshing but dropping on the counter without spilling once. Cooking oil. Maple syrup. A stick of butter. A spatula, a large wooden spoon. A french press full of coffee. Two plates and sets of cutlery and a pack of bacon, a carton of eggs. A bowl of blueberries, because why not?

He pulls back out with a serene smile and lights the burner under the pan, pouring the oil, humming happily.]

Hope you're not vegan! I used eggs and milk.

[sassery]

[And once all that shit starts coming out, Nero steps back just a little, eyes watching and widening as Yakko gets to work. Should he be surprised? Yeah. Is he? A little. But honestly Yakko hasn't done anything bad and he doesn't get any sense of him being a demon, so.

Nero crosses his arms and raises a brow, watching.]

You really planned all this, huh. [He listens to the question and waves a hand, snorting.] Not on your life, I'd die without a burger and fries some days.

So. [A pause, because neon city is now just as weird as he thought it was.] You got a name?

[karmacomecalling]

Nah. I got about halfway through before I realized I wasn't cooking for one.

[He's used to doing it for at least three. Usually fourteen, as Wakko accounts for a dozen servings on his own. Be grateful he remembered not to make that much batter.

And as for who to bestow such a lovely gift on? He more or less flicked blueberries at the housing plan until he hit a likely room, and then down the faucet he went. It's good luck he caught a nightowl, trying to feed people while they slept was messy work.

The first three pre-pancake globs hit the pan with a chorus of hisses, and he's free to gab. Yakko spins around, sticking a thumb to his chest.]

I'm Yakko! Yakko Warner, the one and only! Who are you?

[He...can't really tell what this guy's deal was. Outside of reviving frosted tips. Was silver hair really such a big trend off Pinterest?]

[sassery]

[Okay, this is weird, but Nero actually laughs at it a little. Yakko's like this overactive hyper teen, and Nero has a lot of experience with those kind of kids.]

So you're used to just randomly showing up at someone's place to offer pancakes at midnight?

[Definitely not the weirdest thing he's ever heard. That whole... disappearing/reappearing thing as if he's made of liquid is certainly new though.]

Nero. Can't exactly say I've heard of a Warner, but good to meet you.

[karmacomecalling]

[Man, everyone here was so agreeable. What was in the water back home that no one was happy to see them?

Or it could be that Yakko's going too soft on these folks. So sue him. It's hard to muster that same mischievous thrill without his two favorite hellions to help out. What's he left with now? Alienating the world, becoming hardened? Grizzled? A vengeful anti-hero who trusts no one but the adamantium claws that sprout between his knuckles?

No thank you. Although being Hugh Jackman would give him a delightful Broadway voice.]

No, I'm just used to sharing them. That's all. But I always show up when least expected! [He gives a happy hum, flipping the first batch. They're tipped to the side so he can lay down a couple strips of bacon.] Nero? Wow. I was told we already had a Caesar, but this is incredible. Who's next? Caligula?

[Let's hope not.]

And how come you've never heard of a Warner? What were you doing Saturday mornings as a kid? Watching Good Morning America?

[sassery]

Yeah, well, I'm not about to burn the city down or anything or throw around ridiculous shit about the Olympics, hate to break it to you.

[He's kidding- also, that batch already smells amazing???? Yakko please, how are you even real.]

Saturday mornings? Fighting other kids, probably. [A beat, no he is not kidding with that, actually.] Let's just say the island I live on is pretty much backwards. Got electricity, plumbing, and cars- but no other distractions. Also a more medieval look to it. [He's not gonna mention Fortuna basically hosts a cult, here, even if the more dangerous part of that's disappeared five years ago.] Whatever I was supposed to be doing is definitely not what Fortuna did.

[karmacomecalling]

Awwww, why nooooooooot? [He gives him big, pleading, shiny puppy dog eyes. Hands clasped to his chin. So innocent.] Everybody loves a bonfire! Pleeeease?

[Okay that's enough of that. He gives the pan a toss and starts setting up the rest of the goods. Kettle on, gotta whisk the eggs...]

Fighting kids? On an island? [He's about to ask if Nero grew up with those Lord of the Flies kids when he starts in on electricity and plumbing, so nix to that idea. Thankfully.] How's it more medieval when you've already got cars on the island? Do you joust with them?

Anyway, I was on TV all the time! Me and my sibs. So you've missed out, clearly. I hope all that fighting was worth it.